Why Halstead?
by wonderwaller
Summary: "Why Halstead? Out of all the men in Chicago? Why your partner?"
1. Introduction

"Hank, I know it's not what you want to hear…" Erin hesitantly began as she stood in Voight's kitchen. The anger on his face instantly reverted her back to her high school days.

"Well that's the understatement of the century." His deep voice sarcastically responded, leaning forward in his chair.

"But, Hank." She began to reason, confident in her message.

"I specifically warned you. More than once, more than I should need to."

"It's not that simple, Hank."

"It's exactly that simple, Erin. Off limits, that's what I said."

"Believe it or not, this had absolutely nothing to do with you." Erin's patience was running low, if anyone should understand it would be Hank. She saw him and Camille together. Nothing would have kept the two apart, not if Hank could help it.

"It's under my roof, it has everything to do with me."

The hostility in his voice did not shake Erin, not this time. "I'll transfer if I need to, but that would be a mistake. And you know it."

Hank shook his head as he collapsed back into his chair, "Why Halstead? Out of all the men in Chicago? Why your partner?"

"Well…"

* * *

 _AN: Alright, here we go. My first attempt at Linstead fluff and a multi chapter fic, end of the school year ambitions are taking over. Summer muscles, engaged. The first real chapter will be up soon. As always, be kind, especially to one another._


	2. Reason Number One

Reason Number One: Jay's love for his baby.

It was an unseasonably warm Chicago night in March, and Erin Lindsey decided to take advantage as she waited outside for her partner to pick her up. Somehow Jay had secured two tickets for the Blackhawk game that night, and evenly more impressively, convinced his partner to let him drive. The shocked look of pride on his face prompted Erin to withhold her reasoning, a combination of Nadia's words of support for Erin's househusband and her desire to knock back a few extra drinks after a long day.

"You have got to be kidding me." Erin Lindsey commented as a motorcycle slowed to a stop before her.

"What?" An eager Jay Halstead replied, removing his helmet.

"There's no way." Her feet were cemented to the sidewalk.

"Oh, are you scared?" He questioned, a grin threatening to overtake his face. "Have you never been on a bike before? I'll take it easy on you."

"Look who you're talking to. Of course I've been on a bike before. I'm just not getting on one with you."

"Don't you trust me?" Erin could hear the hurt in his voice and she began to weaken in her resolve.

"I trust that this is your way of getting close to me." She shifted her weight as her arms crossed in front of herself.

"You wish." The grin returned to its rightful place on his face.

"No, you wish. Clearly."

"Come on, Erin. She just got out of the shop, and it's the first nice night of the year. I had to take her for a ride."

"Jay…" Erin knew she would be on the back of his bike within minutes, but still felt the need to stand her ground for her pride's sake. It was a beautiful night, and the prospect of a ride with her partner excited her far more than she was comfortable admitting.

"I even brought you my sister's helmet." He lovingly lifted a smaller helmet from the back of the bike, "Let's go, we're going to be late."

"You owe me."

"Yea, add it to my tab."

And with that Erin grabbed the helmet roughly from his hands and pushed it gently onto her head. She placed her hand on his shoulder as she awkwardly climbed on the bike behind him, her body instantly falling into his.

"Eager, I see." He teased, effortlessly absorbing her small weight against his back.

"Shut it, Halstead." Erin tried to find a way to get some semblance of space between her and her partner, but soon found her efforts futile.

"Alright, now hold on and just lean the turns when I do."

"Tell me how long you've been waiting for this one." Erin replied as she complied with her partner's request. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, and she was glad the helmet could cover the red she was sure was filling her cheeks.

Jay was confident as he guided the two in and out of traffic to the arena. Erin's discomfort soon faded away as she began to enjoy the ride with her partner. The two quickly arrived, able to avoid a lot of the traffic thanks to the sleek bike.

"Admit it, it's the only way to travel." Jay's words pulled Erin from her thoughts as he removed his helmet and slightly turned back towards her. "You know, you can let go now." He teased.

"Shut it, Halstead." Erin responded for the second time that night, as she used his body to help her off the bike, eventually passing him her helmet.

Jay simply laughed as he put her helmet with his and dismounted from the bike. Erin couldn't help but notice how nice his laugh sounded. Almost childlike and pure, such an interesting juxtaposition against the grown muscular man it rose from. She wondered whom else he laughed like that for; Erin's desired answer frightened her.

"Let's go, we have just enough time to grab a couple beers before face off."

The two quickly eased into each other's company as they made their way through the crowd and to the concession stand.

"Two Bud lights." Jay ordered as they got to the front of the line, passing his card to the cashier quickly, earning a sideways glance from Erin. "What? You'll get the next round." He shrugged off the look as he grabbed the drinks and led the pair over to an empty high top table.

"Well then." He commented as she quickly finished her drink and placed the empty cup on the table.

"What? You're driving and we don't have to work tomorrow. How much do I owe you for the tickets, by the way?"

"You don't." He responded, squinting his face, a sure fire sign he was about to lie. "They were a gift."

"You're a horrible liar." Erin laughed, "I'm going to get us another round."

Erin looked at the clock and decided to grab the pair something to munch on while they drank. "Umm, two Bud Lights and garlic parm fries."

"Really thirsty, or ordering for two?" A voice questioned from behind. Erin turned to find a clearly drunk frat boy grinning with pride behind her.

Erin simply turned back to the cashier, deciding to ignore the beer muscles demanding her attention. She was used to getting hit on and his advances were decidedly unwelcomed.

"I've got it." The voice called out again, reaching over Erin's shoulder and dropping two twenties on the table. Erin shrugged and balanced the beer and food in her hands as she moved back towards Jay, not about to argue with the free meal.

"Aren't you going to say thank you?" The persistent voice angrily followed her back to Jay.

"Hey babe." She called to Jay as he reached out to help her with the load in her hands, "thank this nice young boy, who bought us these drinks."

Jay's eyebrows raised curiously as his silent questions were answered by the man following his partner, "Baby, you've got something..." he began as he grabbed her free wrist and licked the sauce from the fries that fell onto her. "Thanks kid." He called after pulling her close, "go Hawks."

"Always the opportunist." Erin laughed as she began to drink her beer.

"First rule of undercover, be convincing." Jay grinned in response, grabbing a fry. "I kind of wish the kid had stuck around a little longer, I could have really given him a show."

"Eat up, we've got seven minutes."

Erin was on beer number three by the time they made it to their amazing seats. "Who was your connection, Jay, Michael Jordan?"

"Always the tone of surprise." He smiled, happy his efforts were appreciated.

The partners engaged in their usual banter as they took in the game. Erin continued to indulge as she became more and more talkative as the night progressed.

"3, 2, 1." They cheered as the game finished with a close win for the home team. Enjoying the moment, Erin leaned into Jay, wrapping her arm around his waist for a quick side hug.

"Are you drunk?" Jay teased, returning the squeeze.

"It takes a lot more than a couple of beers to get me drunk, Jay." Erin responded, "I'm just happy. I had fun tonight."

"Well, happy looks good on you. We should get it there much more often."

"Smooth" Erin laughed as she slightly stumbled away from him, "Let's go, Rico Suave."

They moved through the crowd together when Erin suddenly felt Jay's arm slide across her shoulders, "Wave to your boyfriend." He whispered in her ear, pointing to the man who bought them drinks earlier in the night.

"Heyyy." She called as Jay buried his head into her hair, placing a kiss on her head. "You're bad." She whispered as she playfully pushed him.

They soon arrived at his bike and Jay wordlessly passed the extra helmet to Erin. "I want to drive." Erin decided, turning towards the bike.

"Not so fast." Jay responded, reaching for her wrist. "No one but me drives my baby."

"I thought I was your baby." She teased, turning towards him, perhaps more intoxicated than she realized.

His laughed filled the Chicago night sky as he dropped his eyes to hers, "You're good."

"I know." A grin spread across her face as she pushed a little closer.

"But, your drunk. So no…baby." He whispered into her ear, leaning back so he was sitting sideways on the bike.

"Come on, Jay."

"Erin, there's a crowd of people. I'm not teaching you how to ride a motorcycle here." He calmly reasoned.

"Then take me somewhere else, where it's just us." She proposed, resting her hands on his knees, once again leaning into him.

He merely grinned and shook his head, taking in her close presence for what felt like forever. "Fine, get on." He finally relented, falling victim to her once again. Internally he was proud that he held on as long as he did, his strength granted him the close proximity to her that he so greatly desired.

A rare laugh of excitement escaped Erin as she eagerly jumped on behind Jay, happy for the victory and the extended night with her partner. Jay decided it was his new favorite sound, and made the silent determination within himself to hear it again, as often as possible.

"I've never let anyone else do this before." He began as they stood in an empty parking lot.

"Ok."

"Like no one. Not Will, not my sister. No one. Ever." He continued.

"Ok."

"And somehow you convinced me." He shook his head; "I just got her out of the shop, Erin."

"Stop referring to it as her. It's a bike."

"Mistake number one."

"Seriously though, your baby?" She teased.

"Jealous?"

"Jay, come on! Let's go!" Erin punched his arm, as she grew impatient

"Ok for tonight, I'll let you steer, but I'll control everything else. Deal?"

"Deal, now let's go, Grandma!" Erin impatiently responded, jumping on the bike.

"That wasn't nice."

"You're so sensitive." Erin rolled her eyes, "Fine, let's go, _baby_." She teased.

"I can't believe this is happening. I hope you realize how big of a deal this is." He responded as he climbed on behind her.

"Oh, I'll be scrapbooking this for sure."

"Ok, just relax for a second and let me figure out how this is going to work." Jay ignored her teasing. Erin relaxed against Jay for a few moments while she felt him moving behind her, "Got it. Now, you're going to put your feet on mine and your hands on mine. I'll control the acceleration and you will steer."

"Let's go." She excitedly bounced between his legs.

"Easy." He winced behind her, "I can't believe this is happening." Jay reached around her and grabbed the handles; he jerked them to start and quickly placed his feet up on the pedals.

The two began to move smoothly through the parking lot, with Jay guiding and Erin steering.

"Faster, come on, Jay!" She called from in front of him, urging him on.

He accelerated a little more as she boldly took a turn a little too tight. The pair started to fall sideways as Jay instinctively stuck his leg out to catch the impact of the bike. Luckily, they had not been going too quickly, and Jay was able to ease their crash landing to the ground.

"Oompf." Jay exhaled, taking the brunt of the landing.

"Shit, are you ok?" Erin yelled as she attempted to turn back towards her partner. She was also stuck beneath the bike, but knew it was him who took the most punishment.

"Mm, fine. Are you ok?" He questioned, pushing the bike away from them and laying back into the ground.

"Of course, you took the impact." She responded, once again leaning into him.

"Always got your back." He laughed, not moving.

"Shit, your bike, Jay." Erin jumped up, attempting to assess his bike.

"Its not important, Erin. Are you ok?" He ignored her concerns, standing up himself and reaching towards her.

"The mirror! I'm so sorry."

"Erin, its fine."

"No its not, you warned me."

"I was teasing, as long as you are ok."

"Are you ok? I was so worried about this damn bike, I never checked you!"

"Erin, I'm fine. You're fine. We're fine."

"But what about your baby? I broke her."

"She is just fine." He responded looking her up and down, "Now let's get her home."

* * *

A few days later at the precinct, Antonio ran into Jay in the parking lot as they were arriving for work.

"I would have thought you'd be taking your bike in, I know how excited you were to get your baby back." He commented as Jay exited his car.

"Yea, she had to go back into the shop." Jay nonchalantly responded, scratching the back of his head.

"Already? You just got her? You must be dying without her man." Tony teased as he clapped his hand on Jay's shoulder.

"You have no idea." Jay exhaled, catching Erin's eye from across the way.


	3. Reason Number Two

Reason Number Two: He thinks about it all the time.

It was a rare off day and Erin Lindsey had almost finished the laundry list of errands she had been putting off all week. She had just finished loading her trunk with the essentials she picked up at Target when her phone began to vibrate. Erin took a few moments to stare at the unfamiliar number.

"Detective Lindsey" she instinctively called into the phone

"Is this Erin Lindsey?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"This is Dr. Larbeth and Associates, you are listed as Jay Halstead's emergency contact." The voice began on the other end of the line.

"Yes, I'm his partner. Did something happen?" Erin felt the life leave her body as she began to panic.

"Well, his procedure went well but he needs someone to come pick him up." The voice responded, clearly not aware of the panic she was causing.

"Wait what? Procedure? Start from the beginning." Erin couldn't hide the anger and annoyance dripping from her voice

"Mr. Halstead came in to get his wisdom teeth removed today. Everything went well, but he needs someone to come get him as he cannot drive under the influence of the pain medicine. Would you be able to come pick him up?"

"Of course." Erin released the breath she wasn't aware she was holding. She took down the address and headed to the dentist's office; slightly bothered her partner hadn't let her know about the procedure.

"You called her?!" Jay's muffled voice questioned upon her arrival, "Now I'm never going to be able to drive!"

Erin couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her partner, puffy cheeked, mouth full of cotton, eyes glazed over as he spun in a chair.

"And here I thought you might be happy to see me."

"I'm always happy to see you." He boldly responded, grinning as much as his sore mouth would allow.

"Erin Lindsey, I'm here to pick this knuckle head up." She turned towards the woman in the room, choosing to ignore her partner's declaration.

"She's the one I told you about. My partner." He called joyfully to the woman in question.

"Ahh, the one who won't let him drive either." The older woman laughed, turning behind her to pick up some paperwork.

"It's a conspiracy, Eleanor." Jay responded, far too serious given his current position, "when I told them you were my partner they thought you were my partner partner, not my partner. You know?"

Amused, yet anxious to leave, Erin decided to focus all of her attention on Eleanor while Halstead continued to ramble behind her.

"I assume he will be staying with you. Here is his prescription, one pill every 4 to 6 hours, he can have his first when you get home. No solids, but he should really try to eat at some point. Watch for bleeding, no strenuous activity."

"Strenuous activity, ha no need to worry about that!" Jay interrupted gleefully, "I told them that I would know if Erin Lindsey was my partner partner…"

"I'm sorry about him. Believe it or not, he's not normally this talkative."

"Did you tell her about the mandatory sponge baths?" Jay called out from the chair, "Eleanor, please tell me you've told her about the sponge baths."

"He's all yours." The older woman smiled as she held out a paper for Erin to sign.

"Joy." Erin returned her warm smile.

"Goodbye, Jay." Eleanor moved to Jay, who jumped to hug the much smaller woman. "Enjoy your day with your _partner._ "

Erin shook her head as she walked towards the door, hearing the elderly woman's quiet voice behind her. "You're right, she is beautiful."

"But I don't think she bought the sponge bath part." He loudly responded before following his partner.

"I told them not to call you, I told them I could drive but they didn't believe me either." Jay began as he clumsily collapsed into the passenger seat of Erin's car.

"Of course they should have called me. You should have called me, Jay." Erin tried to sound angry, but quickly lost her resolve with the sight of the strong detective engaged in a losing battle with his seatbelt.

"I didn't want to bug you." He responded, still determinedly pulling at the straps.

"You never bug me." Erin answered as she quickly leaned across his body, pulling the seat belt and snapping it into place.

"You're amazing."

"Damn straight, now let's get you home."

The duo stopped at the pharmacy to pick up Jay's medicine before heading to Erin's place.

"This isn't my apartment." Jay commented as they pulled into the parking garage.

"No there will actually be food here." Erin laughed as she unclicked Jay's seatbelt, "Think you can carry a couple of these bags?"

"For you, I'd carry all the bags." He earnestly responded, the edges of cotton poking from his mouth.

"Alright, Casanova. Take these."

Jay stumbled slightly as they made their way to the elevator and into her apartment.

"Home sweet home." He smiled before collapsing on the couch, "What do you want to do today?"

"I thought you were supposed to be tired." She called from the kitchen as she began to put groceries away.

"I feel great."

"I'm sure you do." Erin laughed as she made her way to living room. "Let me see."

"Ahh." Jay opened his mouth as his head fell back against the couch.

"Not that far, I can't see." Erin mumbled as she crawled onto the couch next to Jay, hovering over him to get a better look. She raised her hands to touch the gauze poking out when Jay quickly moved away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"They are bloody, I need to change them." Erin explained as she began to reach towards him again, "now stay still."

"I didn't hear Eleanor telling you to do that." He stated, moving further from her reach.

"Its in the paperwork she gave me." Erin explained. "Now help me out here."

"I think we should call Eleanor and have her do it." Jay responded.

"Don't you trust me?"

"You kill things." Jay simply explained.

"So do you."

"I've seen you kill a cactus. Who kills a cactus?"

"How was I supposed to know it needed that much water?"

"It didn't. It just need water. Period."

"You're actually hurting my feelings you ass."

"I'm sorry, Erin but.." Jay didn't get to finish his sentence before Erin pushed him back onto the couch and quickly straddled him to hold him in place.

"Open your mouth, Jay." She threatened from above him.

"This escalated quickly."

"I'm going to prove to you that I could take care of you. I am a very warm, nurturing person. Now open you damn mouth." Erin snapped through gritted teeth.

"I could get out of this, but Eleanor said no strenuous activity and I chose to listen to her" He responded as he slowly opened his mouth. "She is going to be so disappointed in you."

Erin wordlessly reached down removing the two blood soak pads of gauze. She then leaned over him, trying to find a suitable angle to get a good view of the wounds.

"Any excuse to touch me." He smiled, wincing as the pain medicine began to weaken.

"Don't move." Erin climbed off of him and disappeared into the kitchen, returning with gauze, water, pills, and a couple of ice packs. She placed the pill on his tongue and lifted his head as she guided the water to his lips. Next, she gently placed a piece of folded gauze on each side of his mouth before handing him the ice packs.

"Thanks" he mumbled as she lifted his head again, and slid beneath him. His head rested on her lap as she turned the TV on and flicked through the channels before settling on Sports center.

They watched in silence as Erin absentmindedly played with Jay's hair. The strain of the day finally took its toll on Jay as he fell asleep to her soothing touch.

Jay awoke several hours later to a delicious smell wafting from the kitchen as he cautiously took in his surroundings. Memories of the morning swirled through his head as he sobered. "Erin? What am I doing here? Ow." He quickly grabbed his mouth as he rose to his feet, "Are you cooking?"

"Yes I cook. Damn well might I add." She winced at the disbelief in his tone.

"Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings before."

"I can take care of people, Jay."

"I know you can Erin." He reassured her, ignoring the pain in his mouth.

"You should have called me. I should have been there for you." Erin vented as she continued to move around the kitchen.

"I didn't think you'd want to hang around and play nurse all day. I figured you had better things to do." Jay reasoned.

"I'm not just the girl you call for a good time. The one who can hang with the boys. I'm good at the other stuff too."

"Erin, that came out wrong before. I was just teasing you."

"I can take care of people, Jay. When they are sick. Or hurting. Or when they are little." She paused as she dropped three ice cubes into the cup of soup she was pouring. Jay watched her as she lifted a spoonful to her mouth, taking a sip before adding two more ice cubes.

"Erin you're going to make a great mom." It all made sense to Jay now, the hurt in her eyes, the pain in her voice, the anger.

"Jay. I just. I know I'm a lot of things. That I was a lot of things. But I can be good at the important stuff, too. I know people don't think of me that way."

"I think about you that way all the time."

"Shut up, Jay."

"No, I'm serious, Erin. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. And they all like you better than me. You make their lunches before shift and tuck them in every night after."

"Jay."

"And we vacation at the cabin. And make decisions as a family. We eat dinner together every night, and sneak kisses while we cook, cause even when we are old we are still hot for each other."

"Jay, stop."

"You think about it too, Erin, I know you do."

"We all sleep in the same bed on Christmas, because the kids can't hide their excitement. And you pretend to hate it, but we both know you love it." Erin confessed as she handed him the chilled soup.

"And we take those cheesy family pictures that we hang everywhere."

"They have your eyes." The smile returns to her face.

"And your smile." He adds and she reaches for him, once again gently pulling the gauze from his mouth.

"And they are happy. The have a happy, carefree childhood." Her voice is resolute.

"With two parents who love them as much as they love each other." Jay adds with the same amount of resolve.

"It's a nice thought." She contemplates as she joins him at the table with soup of her own.

"It is." He agrees as he takes a sip of his soup.

"I'm sorry for getting so emotional. This isn't what you needed today." She confessed as she plays with her spoon.

"I think this is exactly what I needed. You can take care of me anytime." He smiles as best as he can before adding, "especially if it involves you throwing me around on the couch."

"You ruined it." Erin laughed as she began to eat the soup.

The two ate in a comfortable silence; the only sound in the apartment coming from the swirling of their spoons and the broadcasters on the tv.

"You know." Jay spoke up as he rested his spoon in the empty bowl, "it's a two way street. I'd like the chance to take care of you too."

"I could work on that." Erin agreed, taking their empty dishes and loading the dishwasher.

"Now, about that sponge bath Eleanor discussed…"

* * *

AN - Thank you for all of the reviews, your time is greatly appreciated.


	4. Reason Number Three

Reason Three: It wasn't hard for her at all.

"I'm going to kick Ruzek's ass." The anger dripped from Jay's voice as he stood before a bruised Erin.

"Relax, Jay, it could have happened to anyone." An exhausted Erin replied, desperately aching to get out of the hospital and into her bed

"Not me." He doggedly responded, "I wouldn't have let this happen to you."

Erin was too tired to argue with him, choosing instead to relax against the warm hospital bed. The quiet was good for her; she was almost able to forget about the pounding pain.

After what felt like forever Will Halstead entered the room, oblivious to his brother's rage.

"Well then Detective Lindsey..." Will began

"Its Erin, please call me Erin." She interrupted, not comfortable with the formality in his voice.

"Sorry, Erin. You're pretty lucky." His eyes dropped quickly to her chart that he shuffled in his hands. "A concussion, bruised ribs, and broken arm; nothing too damaging."

"What the hell are you talking about, Will? Look at her!" Jay demanded from his place beside her bed.

Erin watched in surprise as an amused look spread across Will's face, "Easy, bro."

"I'm sorry." Jay conceded allowing his rigid body to lean back against the wall fists balled tight.

"I just meant that considering the story her partner gave it could have been a lot worse." Will calmly explained.

"I'm her partner." Jay erupted back off of the wall, turning a shade of red Erin was certain she had only seen in fabrics.

"Maybe you could share some of that pain medicine with Hulk over here." Will joked towards Erin, earning a smile from the female detective.

"I kind of like him all worked up." Erin confessed, the medicine clearly loosening her lips. And it was the truth. Something about him pacing the room with such intensity made her heart light. Couple that with the thigh holster he had yet to remove and Erin was happy for the constant pain in her body maintaining her focus on something other than Jay Halstead.

"Interesting." Will laughed as he sat on a stool and wheeled himself over to Erin. "Let's have you sit up and see if I can get you out of this place."

"Please." She smiled as she began to move.

Jay bounded across the room to help his partner sit, and Erin couldn't even pretend to be annoyed. Her foggy mind was just happy to have him close and to have his full attention. It felt like forever since he looked at her, really looked at her. Probably since they broke up. And if Erin were being honest, she would admit that she missed it.

"Maybe you should step out for a moment, Jay." Will suggested after Erin was finally upright.

"Why would I need to do that?"

"I need to examine Erin." His eyes shifted to the side, ending the need for further explanation.

"Erin?" Jay questioned, pleading for allowance.

"Two Halsteads at once?" Erin laughed, attempting to lighten the mood, "I'll be the envy of all the girls at school."

"You have no idea." Will laughed as he began to gently lift Erin's arms, checking for mobility, "Has King Jay showed you his crown?"

"You were prom king?" An amused Erin turned to her partner, holding back a wince from a stab of pain in her ribs.

"And homecoming king, class president, star athlete..." Will added, lifting Erin's chin and shining a light in her eyes.

"That's enough." Jay interrupted.

"I never knew I was in the presence of royalty", Erin teased.

"Ha ha." Jay responded, "What are you doing?" He questioned as Will's hands rose to Erin's shoulders and began to pull on her gown.

"I need to check her ribs." Will responded, looking for confirmation from Erin who nodded in approval.

"I could check them and tell you about them." Jay quickly offered, knowing instantly how foolish he sounded.

"Relax, Jay, I'm wearing a bra."

"Aren't there any female doctors in this place?" Jay questioned, poking his head out of the curtain.

"Jay, don't you want to check on Ruzek?" Erin asked, sensing her partner needed a break.

"No." Jay responded flatly

"You know what, I have a feeling Erin's prescription is ready at the pharmacy. Why don't you run and get it for her so she can get out of here quickly?" Will offered, hoping Jay would take the bait.

"I'll get it on our way out." He stubbornly responded.

"Please, Jay?" Erin pleaded, "I just want to get out of here."

"Fine." Jay melted the second he heard her voice, "But I know what this is, and I'll be right back."

And with that he bounded from the room, heading through the familiar hospital halls with a determined speed.

"I thought he'd never leave." The Halstead grin spread across Will's face. The resemblance was scary, "Don't mind him, he's just worried I'm going to steal his girl like I did in the fifth grade."

"I'm not his girl." Erin responded as Will eased her back into the bed while inspecting the bruises covering her torso.

"Of course you are."

Within minutes Jay was back, prescription in hand.

"Do you have someone to stay with you?" Will questioned as he began to fill out Erin's release papers.

"Me. I am." Jay answered before Erin could, "We agreed." He stated while catching her eye, referencing their pact to take care of each other.

"As the king desires." Erin flippantly responded from the bed.

"You know the drill, Jay, watch for the concussion side effects. No strenuous activity, try to rest the casted arm."

"I got her." Jay confirmed with a quick nod.

"Thanks, Will. For being stuck in here, that was relatively painless." Erin called from the bed as she attempted to sit.

"Anything for her highness." Will teased with a wink.

"Thanks, bro." Jay clapped his hand on his brother's shoulder as he was leaving the room. "Let's get you dressed."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that." Erin laughed.

"It felt wrong, trust me."

Erin thought it would have been awkward to have to depend on Jay so much. Sure they had each other's back at work, but that was an equal partnership. Usually feeling helpless brought out the worst in Erin, she would lash out before she would let someone see her vulnerable. But as Jay knelt before her to slide on her boots, Erin felt her heart begin to swell. She even let him push her through the hospital in a wheelchair, her only protests came when Jay shot Adam the finger as he guided her past him.

"Don't get use to it." Erin warned as Jay fell into the driver's seat of the car.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He smiled as he started the car, dropping it into drive and exiting the hospital parking lot.

"I thought I'd never get out of there." Erin mumbled, closing her eyes and relaxing against the headrest. Every bump in the road caused pain to shoot through her small frame.

"I'm sorry, we're almost there."

"Not your fault." Erin responded through a clenched jaw.

Jay eased the car into her parking space and raced to help her out of her seat. His large hand remained on the small of her back as he guided her through the halls and the elevator to her apartment door.

"Everything is still in my locker." Erin sighed as they arrived at her locked door. Her exhaustion was evident as tears nearly filled her eyes.

"I have mine." He responded, finding her key on his key ring and unlocking the door, "Good thing we traded."

"What do you want to do?" Jay questioned as he bolted the door behind them.

"Sleep." Erin leaned into him and grabbed his hand, prompting Jay to lead her to her bedroom. Jay fought off the images that flooded his mind of the last time he stepped foot in the room.

"Help please." Her tired voice pulled him from his thoughts, "They aren't working." She motioned towards the fingers on her broken arm.

Jay wordlessly eased her out of her jeans and carefully unbuttoned her shirt. He turned towards her dresser to find something for her to sleep in.

"I was wondering where this was." The light laugh escaped his lips as he held his Blackhawks shirt over his head.

"You knew exactly where it was." Erin fired back, allowing him to slip the shirt over her head.

"Looks better on you anyway."

Erin's cheeks blushed in spite of herself. Jay helped her into bed, covering her before heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" She questioned, fighting off the sleep.

"You aren't the only one who can cook."

"Don't leave." Erin commanded.

"I'm not going anywhere. Now get some sleep." Jay's smile threatened to overtake his face. "Hey, Erin? Thanks for letting me help. It means. Well, it means a lot. I know it's hard for you."

"It wasn't hard for me at all."


	5. Reason Number Four

_Author's Note: These one shots are all out of sequence. Each, however, takes place at a time when Jay and Erin were not a couple (pre- blink and you miss it relationship and post- blink and you miss it relationship). I will try to make it clear in context when in their history each shot is taking place. Thank you all for the reviews, I love reading what you have to say. As always, be kind and stay safe. Enjoy._

* * *

Reason Four: It has a ring to it.

"Alright, just got the word. It's officially on, the first annual CPD v. CFD softball game." Antonio called into the room as he walked up the steps to intelligence.

"Let's kick some ass, blue!" Ruzek called from his chair, "You in, Al?"

"I think I could still get a bat around." A confident voice assured from behind a filing cabinet.

"How about you, boss, you ball?" Atwater questioned Voight who was leaning in his doorway.

"I'm from Chicago." His rough voice responded.

"Enough said." Atwater confirmed, "We've got to pull some of the big boys on patrol."

An unusual air of excitement filled the room as the detectives excitedly discussed the details of the upcoming game. Erin Lindsay smiled at the amusement shown by her colleagues, the innocent air of enthusiasm was rare at the office. She took the opportunity to quietly sneak to the break room for a moment alone.

"You don't seem too excited." A voice stated. Of course he noticed her leave, her heart warmed in spite of herself.

"Can I tell you a secret?" She turned towards him, coffee in hand.

"Voight took you to homecoming, too?" He questioned as he moved towards her, taking the coffee she poured for herself as his own.

Erin's eyebrow rose at the bold move, "No. A real secret, and you can't make fun of me. This is partner confidential."

"Shoot."

"I've never played softball before."

"Ok." Jay accepted the information without further questions.

"The game sounds great, I'm just not all about making an ass out of myself in front of everyone." Erin continued.

Jay could not help but feel a sense of pride that she shared this information so willingly. "Well, I'll teach you."

"You don't need to do that."

"Of course I do, I can't have my partner embarrassing me in front of everyone." He teased.

"Jay..."

"What? We will go play catch after shift, its no big deal."

"Yea?" Erin questioned equal parts excited and terrified of the prospect.

"Hey guys, we've got a call. Let's roll out." Ruzek interrupted, popping into the doorway of the break room before quickly disappearing.

"To be continued." Jay assured as he dropped his coffee mug into the sink.

The next day the partners made plans to go to the park after shift to toss a ball around. Erin mentioned stopping at a store before hand to buy a glove, but Jay assured her that he had her covered. After everyone left, they headed to the locker room to change into workout clothes.

"How are we going to play catch without a glove?" Erin questioned as she closed her locker and turned towards her partner.

"Here is my old mitt, broken in and everything." He smiled, reaching into his bag and removing an old brown glove and tossing it to her.

"Thanks." Erin responded, immediately taking in the glove. Warmth filled her body as she spotted J. Halstead #14 scribbled on the side of the glove, clearly in a child's handwriting.

"Well try it on." Jay implored moving towards her.

Erin slipped her hand into the well-worn glove, "It's perfect."

"It was mine in middle school, that baby took me to the state playoffs." He reached for it while still on her hand, inspecting the fit. "I'm glad it fits, lets go."

Erin followed; pictures of a young Jay filled her head. Pictures that greatly contrasted memories of her own youth, Erin still had to pinch herself at times. How could two people from such different worlds work so well together?

"You throw like a girl." Jay commented after a few light tosses at the park.

"Hate to break it to you, partner, but I am a girl." She shot back.

"Like I need reminding…"

"You said you weren't going to make fun of me."

"I'm not, you were just. I thought you were exaggerating, you were telling the truth. You never played before." Jay couldn't hide the surprise in his voice.

"Bunny's not big on baseball."

"I figured that, I guess I just pictured Voight and you playing catch." Jay scratched the back of his head and shrugged his shoulders.

"That was his thing with Justin. And believe it or not, in high school, that last thing I wanted to do was play catch with Voight."

"Ok, well can I give you a tip? Step into your throw, it will put more juice on it."

"You aren't stepping into it." Erin retorted.

"Well, I'm not trying to put juice on it." Jay reasoned.

"Why not?" She was beginning to enjoy the banter, especially since it was taking the attention off of her clearly underwhelming ability to throw.

"I don't think you can handle it."

"I could handle anything you throw at me." She countered.

"That's yet to be proven." He challenged with a grin.

"Says Mr. Hydration breaks."

"Do we need to turn this baseball lesson into one about the human anatomy?" Erin loved the redness that was overtaking his ears as he defended himself. "You never had any complaints."

"Let me guess…" Erin began as she attempted to change the subject, "you were all city in high school?"

"All state." He quietly corrected her.

"Its like you're from a movie sometimes."

"Or your dreams."

The two laughed as they began to throw the ball around again, Erin following Jay's advice and slowly gaining confidence. Jay began to throw some grounders and pop-ups for Erin to field. After about an hour, he was satisfied with the day's work.

"Tomorrow we'll hit."

"Thanks, Jay." Erin offered the glove back to Jay as they headed towards her car.

"Keep it."

"Just the two I was looking for." Atwater's smooth voice exclaimed the next morning as the partners bounded up the steps, "I know a guy who is going to get a great deal on jerseys. What numbers do you want?"

"14." They both responded immediately, completely in sync.

"You two really do have this partner thing down pat." Atwater commented as he wrote the number down by both of their names.

"You stole my number." Jay accused as Atwater walked away.

"It matches my glove." Erin responded moving towards her desk.

After work they headed to the batting cages. Jay led Erin through the cages to ones marked softball and grabbed a helmet and bat.

"Safety first." He commented, passing her the helmet.

"You're loving this." She muttered as she pressed it onto her head.

"Alright, come over here." Jay called from the side of the plate.

"Is this where you pretend to teach me how to hit, but really are just trying to cop a feel?"

"Is this where you pretend you don't want me to?" He teased as he positioned her in front of him.

Erin fought the sparks rushing through her body as he placed his hands on her hips then her shoulders. It had been seven months since they called it off, but she still reacted to him every time they touched. For her, typically the allure was gone after sex, but with Jay it only increased. The past seven months had been a slow torture of sorts, both looking for excuses for contact, anything to appease the hunger that was building.

"So step and swing." Jay eventually explained, leaning into her more than was necessary, not that either minded.

"Got it." She affirmed, feeling a sense of emptiness the second he moved away.

Batting, it turns out, came much more naturally to Erin than throwing.

"You'll be our catcher." Jay excitedly explained as he moved into the box to take his turn. "You just have to throw the ball back to the pitcher. The best hitters are always the catchers."

"Helmet?" She questioned as he took his place.

"Oh, no one wears those." He laughed as he tossed it to the corner and began to effortlessly swing the bat, knocking the balls hard against the net surrounding the cage.

"You're an ass."

"You stole my number."

They continued their intermittent practices up until the day before the game. Erin finally feeling comfortable enough that she wasn't going to look like a complete fool at the match up.

"Jerseys are in." Atwater dropped a large box on his desk that Friday night, "And let me just say, my boy did it well." They were authentic looking button ups, navy blue with Chicago PD embroidered across the front.

Kev began to pull the jerseys from the box yelling the name and number as he tossed them around the office. "Halstead, number 14. Shit." He mumbled while holding up the jersey.

"What's wrong?" Erin questioned from her desk.

"I think the double numbers confused my boy, because Halstead's came in a small and Lindsay's came in a large."

"I think Jay could fit in a small." Erin commented as Atwater held the small jersey up.

"She's ruthless." Antonio laughed from the other side of the room.

"Come on." Jay got up and attempted to slide his arms into the jersey, "There's no way."

"Well, I can still wear mine." Erin commented as she put on hers, the jersey looking more like a dress. "Thanks, Atwater." She called over her shoulder as she moved to the locker room.

"Trade with me." Jay called, following close behind.

"No. I think that looks great on you." Erin responded, admiring her new jersey in the mirror.

"It's your fault, you stole my number. It's the least you could do."

"I've never had a jersey with my name on it."

"I'll give it back to you as soon as the games over."

"But then it will be all sweaty." Erin reasoned, thoroughly enjoying watching him squirm in the much too small jersey.

"Since when have you minded my sweat?" Jay questioned.

"Shh…" she scolded him, eyes darting around the empty locker room.

"Relax, they have no idea. You know, for a bunch of detectives, that actually is kind of scary." He laughed at his observation. "Please, Erin, I don't want to look like an idiot."

"Fine." Erin relented, handing the large Lindsay 14 jersey over to Jay and taking the small Halstead 14 jersey from him.

Jay immediately tried hers on, "Much better." He smiled as he began to button up the front, "See now I'm officially marked as your house husband. Does yours fit ok?"

She slipped on the Halstead jersey, buttoned it up, and turned to admire the back of it in the mirror. "It fits perfectly."

"Erin Halstead." The name escaped his lips before he could think to stop it.

"It has a ring to it."

"It does." Jay agreed.

 _First Annual Softball Game CPD 14 – CFD 0._

 _MVP Jay Lindsay._


	6. Reason Number Five

**AN: Sorry it has been a minute. Had a lot going on with the end of the school year at work. As always, be kind, especially to one another.**

Reason Five: Because she is one of the three.

It was a slow Wednesday in the intelligence office, two weeks to the date since they called it quits. Jay and Erin comically took turns stealing glances across the room. While the rest of the squad was oblivious to the change between the two, the partners could not ignore the shift since they decided to cool things off. They were changing, distancing from one another. Both were bothered by this development, but neither knew quite how to stop it. They were complicated. They were a mess. They were miserable.

"Shit." Erin muttered, staring at her phone that had been vibrating relentlessly all day. She lifted her head and made eye contact with Jay, motioning to the break room before wordlessly rising from her seat.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, following her in. Both detectives' eyes naturally scanned their surroundings, still accustomed to sneaking around.

"I need a favor."

"Anything." Jay replied immediately.

"They are doing this fumigation and floor cleaning thing at my place."

"Ok?" Jay questioned, not entirely following his partner. He was too captivated by their close proximity to put too much effort into comprehending the conversation. All of his concentration was depleted by a sensory overload. Her scent, gun oil, lavender, and spearmint. Her voice, raspy and quiet.

"I can't stay there while this is happening." Erin continued, staring blankly at her oblivious partner.

"That makes sense." He replied as he continued his inventory of her. Has she lost weight? Impossible, she didn't have any to lose. She looked tired.

"Payback huh? You are really going to make me say it. Can I crash with you?"

"What?" Jay is snapped back to reality with this question, amused now by the role reversal.

"Jay.." Erin impatiently crosses her arms against her chest.

"Lucky for you" Jay begins, "I hear Olinsky is off of the couch and into the house. The garage could be all yours."

"Ha." She shrugs off his teasing, only semi accepting that she deserves it, "Maybe I'll ask Roman or Kev…"

"Not Voight?" Jay questions as Erin chooses to ignore his features hardening as their sergeant's name comes from his lips.

"You were the first person I thought of. But, it is isn't cool, that's fine."

"No it is. Of course it is." Jay relents, "I'd give you a key but Will still has my extra."

"I don't need one. I have you."

"You do." He agrees.

"So it will be Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and possibly Monday."

"Saturday?" He questions, his head snapping up.

"Got a hot date?" She questions, hoping she is hiding the pain crashing through her body.

"No. No, I just have somewhere I need to be." He nervously replies.

"You don't need to babysit me, Jay."

"We got a call, let's go." Ruzek interrupts, jumping into the doorway.

"Every damn time we are in here." Jay raises his hands in the air in exasperation.

Erin smiles as they head to their desks, "Are you sure its ok?"

"Absolutely, I got your back."

The rest of the week went by quickly. The two fell into a far less exciting version of their natural routine at Jay's apartment. It was only slightly awkward when they retired to separate rooms, Jay promising fresh sheets and a lysoled mattress following Will's recent stay.

Erin couldn't fight the suspicion that Jay was hiding something from her as Saturday arrived. Around four o'clock, she entered the living room fresh from the shower. Jay was angrily slamming into his ironing board, attempting to get it to stand straight. He then disappeared into his room reemerging moments later with a suit that he slung across the board attempting to work out the creases.

"Need help?" Erin called, choosing to push aside the knot growing in her stomach.

"No, I just. I lost track of time." His voice was sharp but sad, "I'm going to be late."

"Wouldn't want to miss your big date."

"Its not a date." His head snaps up as he pulls the iron, nearly ripping the cord from the wall.

"Jay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I can't be late."

"Well, why don't you shower and I iron your suit for your non-date."

"Er.." He began.

"Listen, Jay, I don't mind. I'm the one intruding on your weekend."

"Thanks, Erin." He seemed to relax a little as he made his way to the bathroom she just left. "You're not intruding." His voice was quiet but firm.

"Remember you said that." She teases as she looks around him into the bathroom.

"You used my razor didn't you?"

"It works so well." Erin reasons, knowing her use of his razor was a heated topic between the two.

"Erin." He groans against the doorframe.

"I thought you were going to be late for your date?" She challenges.

"Its not a date."

And with that the bathroom door closes and Erin turns her attention to the suit thrown against the ironing board. She had seen it before; it was the one he wore to her reunion. Erin stole a glance to the bathroom door before lifting the jacket to her face, the sent of him sending her back to that night. She could still see the shine in his eyes as he reached across the bar top to hold her hand.

"One day." She mutters under her breath as she runs the iron over the jacket and eventually the pants. Feeling generous, Erin made her way to Jay's closet to grab a button up to press as well.

"Jay, I know I'm early but I was lonely." A female's voice rips through the apartment as Erin reentered the living room, shirt in hand.

"Erin?" the woman questioned. Erin froze as she took in the beautiful blonde before her, suddenly glad she did her hair and make up after her shower. She was petite, with long blonde hair lying past her shoulders in loose curls. She looked young, too young for her partner. Her big blue eyes implored Erin to speak as an all too familiar look of confusion spread across her face.

"Abigail?" Erin questioned.

"In the flesh." A crooked smile graced her face as she closed the door behind her. The smile must be a Halstead thing, Erin determined, now seeing it on all three of the siblings. "I wish I would have known you were here, I wouldn't have come barging in! I'm so happy to finally meet you!"

"You, too." Erin smiled; genuinely happy that the young blonde was who Jay had plans with tonight.

"Jay gushes about you all the time." Abigail continues heading to the kitchen for a bottle of water, "Literally gushes. It's kind of cute actually."

Erin's cheeks turn a crimson red as the youngest Halstead reenters the living room, "Thank goodness, he is wearing a suit." She replies lifting the jacket off of the board. "Think you could get him to wear a tie, too? Maybe one that matches you, are you coming?"

"Payback, I used your toothbrush." Jay's voice interrupts his sister's questioning as he exits the bathroom with a towel around his waist, "Hey Abs. This is Erin." He awkwardly points to his partner.

"Clearly. Now you two get ready."

"Oh, Erin's not going."

"Going where?" Erin interrupts Jay, turning her attention towards Abigail.

"Church, Mass is being said for Mom today." Abigail cautiously explains.

Erin's head whips towards Jay and she knows he can see the hurt in her eyes.

"I told you it wasn't a date." He meekly offers, moving towards the women to collect his clothes. "I didn't think you were the church going type, I didn't want to ruin your night. I figured there was somewhere else you'd rather be."

"Nope, not really." Erin turns towards Abigail, "Give me five minutes." And with that she shoves Jay's clothes towards him and disappears into his guest room.

"You were right, I like her." Erin hears Abigail comment as she shuts the door behind her, instantly grateful that she packed one or two nice things just in case.

A few minutes later, Jay bursts into the room dressed in his pants with his shirt still in his hand.

"I could have been naked."

"No, because then things would actually have to be working out in my favor today."

"Zip me." She turns her back towards him as she attempts to concentrate on anything but the shivers running up her spine from his touch.

"She died, 14 years ago this week. We always have a Mass said in her honor. Its not that I don't want you there, of course I want you there. I just, I don't know, Erin. We need an instruction manual." He mumbles as he slides his arms into the shirt.

"Its not that complicated." Erin's voice is soft as she moves towards him, buttoning up his shirt. "You are going through something and I am going to be there for you."

"Ok." He exhales, holding her eye contact as Erin's hands rest on his chest. "Thanks, Er. It means a lot."

"You've been there for me. Let's just hope the church doesn't explode as I enter it." Erin laughs, attempting to ease the tension filling the room. "Now go put on a tie for your sister."

"I'm sorry." Abigail apologizes as Erin falls into the couch next to her, "I didn't realize."

"Don't be sorry." Erin smiles dropping her hand to the girl's knee, giving it a tight squeeze, "Is it wrong that I'm relieved? I thought he had a hot date tonight, he broke out the suit and all."

"Oh no, he doesn't break out the suits for just anyone. He should wear them more often though, he looks so handsome in them."

"He does." Erin agrees as Jay enters the room, tightening his tie.

"Ready?"

It does not escape either woman that the tie Jay Halstead chose matches Erin Lindsay's blue pencil skirt perfectly.

"As I'll ever be." Abigail replies, slowly standing up from the couch, "Will is meeting us there."

"I can't believe it's been 14 years." Abigail wonders out loud from the back seat of Jay's car. "Can you remember her voice, JJ? I swear I can't anymore."

"Well, you were barely 8, Abs." Jay's voice wavers as Erin notices his hand tighten its grip on the gearstick, "But yea, it's getting harder for me too." His eyes rise to meet his sister's through the rearview mirror. "Luckily, she left her mini me behind."

"Yea?" She questions.

"You have no idea, Abs. You look and sound more and more like her every day." The emotion fills his voice as Erin instinctually covers his hand with her own. "Beautiful."

"Thanks, JJ." She thoughtfully pauses before adding, "Hey, remember when she made you and Will dress like power rangers for my birthday party?"

A loud laugh explodes from Jay as he rests his head against the headrest, clearly welcoming the happy memory. "We were so pissed."

"Shut up." Erin's eyes question the siblings.

"Tights and all." Abigail laughs making eye contact with Erin, "I'll send you the pictures."

"Please do."

"Easy." Jay warns the girls as he pulls into the church parking lot. Quiet fills the car as none of the occupants attempt to make the first move.

"You two ready?" Erin finally questions, sensing Jay needs the push. With that the three open the car doors and take in the large brick building before them.

"Ladies." Jay offers an arm to each of his girls as they begin to walk to the front steps.

"Will!" Abigail calls as she drops Jay's arm and races to her eldest brother, jumping into his waiting arms, "you made it."

"Couldn't let my favorite girl down." He smiled as he slung his arm over the smaller girl's shoulders. "Jay." He nods towards his brother. "Erin." Will doesn't attempt to hide the smirk gracing his face as he greets his brother's partner.

The four stand in the parking lot for a moment before a loud voice booms towards them, "Well I'll be damned. It's the Halsteads."

"Drunk Danny." They all respond, to Erin's amusement.

"My boys", he reaches for Jay and Will before turning to Abigail, "Well, I'll be damned. You've grown, baby Halstead."

"Hey." "Fuck off." "Back up." Erin, Will, and Jay call towards Danny, inserting themselves between the man and Abigail.

"I kid." He responds raising his hands before pulling Jay and Will back into hugs, "It's great to see you boys. Well done, Jay." He adds after eyeing up Erin.

"See ya, Danny." Jay responds to his childhood classmate, not exactly happy that he managed to hit on both his sister and partner within two minutes.

"Some things never change" Will laughs sarcastically "Alright, Halsteads, let's do this."

The four enter the church silently as they find a pew with space. Will enters first, followed by Abigail, Erin, and then Jay. Erin is instantly grateful for Camille dragging her to church all those years ago. Several people make their way towards the family before the beginning of mass, all seeming to know the reason for their presence. Each well wisher has a different compliment or story about the Halstead matriarch and Erin feels Jay's hand reach for hers.

Soon the music begins to play as everyone rises to his or her feet. Things started pretty smoothly. The volume of people in the church forced Jay to sit very close to Erin, and she found the contact a welcomed return. Will did his best to lighten the mood for his baby sister, making jokes and observations as the mass progressed.

"For the impoverished, the homeless and the hunger, that the compassion of others helps guide their way. We pray to the Lord."

"Lord hear our prayer." The congregation boomed in response.

"And for Elizabeth Halstead, for whom this mass is being offered. We pray to the Lord."

The Halstead men's heads dropped as Erin heard a quiet whimper from next to her. She wrapped her arm around Abigail's waist and pulled her into a side hug, already feeling a kinship for her partner's little sister.

"You ok?" She softly whispers.

"Yea, thanks Erin. Its just sucks being forced to think about it you know? Does that even make sense?" Abigail questions in response.

"It does." Erin affirms.

"Most of the time, I don't think about it. I mean I've lived more of my life without her than I did with her. Then other times, it's like staring at me in the face. I love my brothers don't get me wrong, but there are some things it would have been nice to talk to her about."

At that moment Erin saw as much of herself as she did Jay in his little sister.

"Its not the same." Erin began to whisper as the congregation sat down, "but if you ever need to talk or anything, you can call me."

"Yea?"

"Of course. At the very least we could exchange stories about this one." Erin motioned to Jay sitting next to her.

"I'd like that."

"Me too."

Erin felt Jay's arm rest across her shoulders where it stayed for the remainder of mass.

"So who is that cute blonde who keeps staring at you?" Erin questions Abigail as the final hymn finishes playing.

"What?" "Where?" Jay and Will question from their spots.

"Oh that's Joe Donchecz, we grew up together." Abigail responds to Erin, ignoring her brothers.

"No way is that little Joey D." Will comments, sizing the man up.

"Last time I saw him he was this big." Jay comments holding his hand below his chest.

"Because you haven't changed since 2002." Abigail responds as the tall man makes his way towards the group.

"Hey, Abby. I was hoping I would see you here. I saw in last week's bulletin they were saying this mass for your mom."

"Hey Joe, how have you been?"

"Well if it isn't little Joey." Will smirks slinging his arm across his little sister.

Erin elbows Jay in the ribs before he can add to the teasing.

"Hey Will, Jay."

"Joe, this is Erin. Jay's partner." Abigail adds to the conversation.

"Nice to meet you, Joe." Erin smiles to the taller man who towers over both Halstead men.

"You, too." He returns her smile before turning back to Abby. "To this day, I don't think I've ever had a better chocolate chip cookie than your mom's."

"That's the only Halstead cookie you'll be getting." Jay adds, warranting a stronger elbow to the side from Erin.

"Ow."

"Jay!"

"Do you want to grab dinner?" Joe continues, handling the Halstead brothers well. "I mean, if you don't have plans?"

"I'd love to catch up." Abigail smiles, "I'll meet you at the statue."

"Just like old times." Joe laughs, "It was nice to meet you. Good seeing you Jay and Will."

"I don't like him." Will comments the second Joe is out of earshot.

"You don't know him." Abigail responds.

"Like hell. He was the one I caught sneaking out of your window." Jay turns towards Abigail, memories flooding.

"We were just friends. It was innocent."

"Pshh."

"Like you should talk."

"Alright boys" Erin interrupts, "She's an adult, she can make her own decisions." Erin smiles at the looks on their faces as she grabs Abigail's phone and punches in her number. "Text me all the details."

Abigail hugs each of them goodbye before disappearing in the crowd. Shortly after, Will excuses himself, needing to head to work. Soon Jay and Erin are left walking to the car together.

"Thanks for being so good with her. It would be nice for Abs to have someone other than her brothers to talk to."

"Anytime. I can tell how much she means to you."

"And thank you for coming, I know this wasn't the ideal Saturday night. But, I needed you. We all did, I think."

"Jay, I'm here for you. Always, no matter what that means."

"Oh if that's the case, I've had a killer ache in my neck…maybe you could be there for me to help with that."

"Smartass." Erin responds while slapping him upside the head.

"It was worth a shot."

"I honestly thought you had a date tonight. You had me worried, Jay Halstead." Erin reveals nervously.

"I told you I didn't."

"Yea, but what's a girl to think when you break out your nice suit?" She teased standing by the passenger's door.

"Believe me, there are only three people who have ever gotten me to wear a suit."

"Yea?"

"My mom, my sister, and you."

"You don't say." The grin threatens to overtake Erin's face.

"Its an elite list that I don't intend on adding any names to." He smiles from across the car, resting his arms on the roof. "My girls."


	7. Reason Number Six

Reason Six: She couldn't agree more.

It had been one week since Jay had been reinstated after Lonnie Rodiger's death. Things had been tense between the partners, Erin had tried several times to address the tension in the air with Jay, but he rebuffed her efforts each time. She had been trying to make eye contact with him all morning during the long-winded briefing, but he didn't look over once. Not even after a particularly dumb joke by Ruzek about a suspect with the last name Poussey.

"The only lead we have is this abandoned warehouse on the Southside, so we are going to set up a stake out in a surveillance van."

"Halstead and I will do it." Erin volunteered before Voight could assign a pair to the duty. Normally the thought of a stake out would cause Erin to shrink in her seat, however the thought of Jay being unable to escape her was worth the boredom.

"Fine." Voight responded, his stare lingering on a stoic Jay. "Ruzek, Jin, make sure the van is good to go. You two, be ready in 30."

Jay continued to ignore Erin as he made his way to his locker to pack a quick bag for the day. He grabbed whatever supplies and snacks he had, not entirely convinced he had enough but not really in the mood to do anything about it.

Erin fought the urge to pursue conversation as they silently prepared in the locker room. She was genuinely surprised by how much his cold shoulder bothered her. Sure, she really **really** liked having him as a partner, not that she would freely admit that. She was so relieved when he was reinstated after the Rodiger fiasco, the other members of intelligence were great but they weren't Jay. But now that he is back, she found herself missing him even more than when he was suspended. This silence was killing her, literally driving her up the wall. Earlier this week she found herself rambling about weather hoping to get a reaction or response. Nothing.

They silently made their way down to the garage where Ruzek was waiting by the van with keys.

"I trust you both know your way around the back of a van." His eyes teased wildly, "Well, maybe not you so much, Jay. Lindsay, take it easy on him."

"Shut up." Erin laughed in spite of herself as she grabbed the keys, "How's the chest feeling?"

It had been less than a week since Ruzek took a bullet that was luckily caught by his vest. It was his first time having a bullet connect, and the experience shook him more than he let on.

"Just a bruise, thanks Erin." Ruzek smiled as he shared a quick hug with Erin. Both decided to ignore that sound Jay made before he slammed the passenger side door.

"That's the most your boyfriend has said all week. Maybe show him a good time? Yea?"

Erin responded by pushing Ruzek away, aiming for the site of the bruise for a little extra punishment.

"Figures." Jay mumbled under his breath as they began to drive to the location.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." He sharply replied before staring out the window.

Not in the mood to argue while driving, Erin decided to let it go until they arrived at their location a painful twenty minutes later. Despite the uncomfortable air surrounding the partners, they managed to work together seamlessly while they situated themselves in the back of the van.

"So what the hell did that mean, Jay?" Erin questioned as she sat in the seat next to Jay in front of the monitors, not particularly caring that she was invading his space.

"What?"

"Figures." She mocked, turning her head to the side, attempting to impersonate the other detective.

"You with Ruzek, it figures."

"Me and Ruzek? He got shot, Jay, I was making sure he was ok." Erin couldn't believe she had to explain something so trivial to her partner.

"I saw that, how sweet of you." His voice held a malice that she had only heard before when they used their good cop bad cop shtick during interrogation.

"Is this because I hugged him?"

"No, it's the way you treated him." Jay responded, finally engaging in conversation.

"You're jealous of Ruzek?" Erin questioned, voice full of disbelief.

"Well, when you put it like that it makes me feel dumb." He exhaled, eyes still focused on the monitors in front of them.

"You should feel dumb."

"This is why I didn't want to talk to you." Jay responds, grabbing a set of headphones and slamming them onto his head. "We are here, Sarge, good to go, will radio if there are any signs of movement or activity."

"That's not fair." Erin begins when he is finished speaking with the office. Jay still refuses to look at her, so she pulls the headphones off of his head and slams them to the ground. "You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" He yells, finally turning to face Erin. His voice is dripping with anger, but his eyes show nothing but pain. "Voight walks on water. Him and Olinsky do God knows what and you accept it. You never question Antonio. And me?"

"You and me, we aren't as simple as me and the others." Erin attempts to explain, "Voight is like my dad, Olinsky my uncle, Antonio a big brother, Ruzek an annoying, pain in the ass little one."

"And me?" He questions again sharply.

"Something else." Erin lamely responds, not ready for that conversation.

"Clearly what ever the hell I am doesn't match up to what the rest of the team is to you."

"What is this about, Jay?" Erin questions quietly.

"Lonnie Rodiger."

And there, it's out, the elephant in the room that had been suffocating the pair for the past week. Erin can literally see Jay's shoulders relax as the weight he had been carrying was released.

"I'm not trying to punish you." He explains quietly, "I am just disappointed. You thought I did it. I thought you knew me better than that. It hurt, Erin."

It all made sense now to Erin and she is mortified that she hadn't realized it before. The embarrassment pales in comparison to the anger she feels. The anger she has for herself, she didn't handle it well. She knows that. But what do you do when the man _who you_ … _who you care_ …what do you do when your _partner_ is accused of murder?

"I would have done it." She eventually states, breaking the silence.

"What?"

"I would have killed him. If someone did that to the kid brother of someone who I was in love with, I would have. No question. So, I don't know. I understood it. I got it. I didn't judge."

Her explanation is weak, but not entirely a lie. She would kill anyone who caused Jay pain. But, how do you tell your partner that you were paralyzed by fear that he had gotten himself into a bind that you couldn't get him out of? How do you tell him that the thought of him being put away, behind bars, away from you, turned you into a sobbing mess? How do you tell him that you were angry? That's right that you were mad at him. How could he be so stupid? How could he potentially take away their one day before it even saw the light of day? How the fuck do you say all that?

"I was wrong." She offers, breaking herself free from her own thoughts.

"You were." Jay confirms solemnly.

"I'm sorry." The tears fill her eyes as she grabs his hand, hoping she can convey all of her thoughts without needing to verbalize them.

"Thank you." He responds genuinely.

She wonders if he understood her. In a way she would be shocked if he didn't. They hadn't been paired together long, but Jay already understood her in a way no one has before.

"I wasn't in love with Allie." Jay speaks after what feels like an hour. 53 minutes to be exact, Erin has stared at the clock painfully waiting for him to speak. "I mean, at the time, if you asked, I would have said I was. But as an adult? I don't know. Our relationship was special and important and I love her. But I wasn't in love."

"Oh." Erin responds, her heart feeling lighter with his admission. "I just assumed."

"I don't really subscribe to the belief that you can fall in love with a bunch of people. True, unconditional love? That has got to be a once in a lifetime thing. And Allie was great, but I didn't have that for her. That hunger to be with someone? Hating to see them sad or to be apart? Loving everything about them even things you know should be annoying? That can't happen more than once. There's no way."

"I agree." Erin finds herself saying, his words causing her heart to beat against her chest.

"You and the fireman?" He tentatively questions.

"No." Erin laughs, "No not at all."

"Oh." Jay responds, "I just assumed."

"Well looks like you were the one who was wrong this time." She smiles, only then realizing that she was still holding his hand. 59 minutes later. "That kind of love you are talking about? I think it's worth waiting for."

"I agree."

"That's all Kelly is, Jay, a space filler until the time is right." Erin explains, hating herself as the words fall from her lips.

"Maybe I need one of those." It's his turn to laugh.

"No you don't." Erin replies immediately, "They are massively overrated."

"You don't say."

The pair sit together quietly in the back of the van for another 137 minutes. Their eyes focused on the monitors, hands still intertwined.

Hank's voice startles both as it calls from the radio, "Maybe you two should come back. It doesn't seem like the time is right to make a move."

"I don't mind waiting." Jay answers, staring directly into Erin's eyes.

"I agree." She responds, squeezing his hand tightly.


	8. Reason Number Seven

[I know it's been forever, I apologize. This isn't my best, but it is my attempt to force myself out of this insane case of writer's block. Be kind!]

Reason Number Seven: because of all the asses in the world.

"Why are we here?" Jay questioned as he followed Erin into the unfamiliar bar. The two agreed to drinks after shift, and Jay was surprised when Erin drove by not only Molly's but also all of their other regular bars.

"Maybe I didn't feel like seeing everyone we know tonight." Erin curtly replied as she made her way to two open spots at the bar.

"I think you just wanted me all to yourself." He teased as he relaxed into the seat next to her.

"What can I get you, handsome?" A female voice interrupted before Erin could reply. Normally, Erin would be grateful for a reprieve, but the look red head was giving her partner was anything but welcomed.

"What do you have on tap?" Jay began.

"We'll each take a double whiskey neat." Erin interrupted, leaning into Jay as she offered their order.

"Coming right up." The bartender smiled sweetly at Jay before turning back towards the shelves of liquor.

"Good service." Jay offered as he leaned back against his seat, "We barely sat down. Want to order a snack?"

Erin couldn't help but shake her head at her partner. For a detective, he sure as hell could be clueless. "Want to go to a restaurant instead?"

"No, bar food will cut it." He responded as he surveyed the room.

"Here, you go. Should I start two separate tabs?" The woman returned, again refusing to acknowledge Erin.

"No, together. Can we see a menu?" Erin replied through her teeth while reaching for her drink. The idea was to get away from the crowd for a relaxed evening, not to spend the night watching a woman throw herself at her partner.

"No problem." She answered as she reached for a menu, "I recommend the wings if you're into spicy."

"We'll keep that in mind." Erin gritted through her teeth as she reached for the menu.

"Are you alright?" Jay questioned, still oblivious to the tension between the females.

"How does she know we aren't together?" Erin snapped once the woman was out of earshot.

"What?"

"She is throwing herself at you, and for all she knows we could be together." Erin continued to vent as she finished the rest of her glass.

"She isn't throwing herself at me. And we aren't together." Jay replied, motioning for another drink, "We'll have another round and an order of those wings you mentioned."

"Are you sure she can handle the heat?" The red head motioned to Erin while keeping her eyes on Jay.

"Can we get some of their oysters, too?" Erin whispered as she snaked her arm across Jay's shoulders while pointing to the menu with her free hand. "I'm in the mood."

"Oysters and wings coming right up." The bartender shortly replied.

"And don't forget the refills." Erin grinned, sliding her glass towards the edge of the bar.

"Well how about that?" Jay questioned, a smirk covering his face.

"What?" Erin innocently replied, dropping her arm to the back of his seat.

"You're jealous."

"You wish." Erin snorted as she leaned away from her partner.

"Doesn't make it not true." Jay answered before nodding to the bartender as she deposited their refills, "Thanks."

Erin took a long drink from her whiskey before answering, "What? I've had a long day – I'm not in the mood to watch this girl drool over you all night."

"I never pegged you as the jealous type." Jay commented as he took a drink of his whiskey.

"Like you would enjoy spending your first night off in weeks watching some guy throw himself at me." Erin retorted, finishing her glass.

"That actually wouldn't bother me at all." Jay lied before finishing his glass.

"Come on, you beat the shit out of a guy for a few innocent catcalls."

"He threw a glass bottle at you." Jay argued, leaning forward against the bar. "I was being a gentleman, as always."

"So you're saying you would be fine if I went over there and flirted with that guy at the end of the bar?" Erin questioned.

"I'm not flirting with anyone. There's a difference." Jay defended, gently spinning his glass under his hand against the bar.

"Is there?" Erin's eyebrow rose as she sensed her partner's discomfort, knowing she had made her point.

"Your food." The bartender appeared, placing two plates in front of the pair. "Careful" she began, looking at Erin for the first time, "wouldn't want to get burnt."

"We like it hot. Refills again please." A fake smile covered Erin's face as the woman turned again to find a bottle. "What? We have off tomorrow." She reasoned as she pulled some chicken from a wing before taking a bite.

"These are good" Jay offered as he began eating a wing of his own. "Good call." He smirked towards the bartender as she refilled their drinks yet again.

"You've got some sauce, right here." The bartender boldly reached across the bar, gently wiping the sauce from Jay's lips with her thumb. "Glad you like them."

"I'm going to use the bathroom." Jay responded, instantly feeling the glare of his partner burning through his side. "Be nice." He whispered into the female detective's hair, before making his way across the room to wash up. The cold water was a jolt to his system compared to the warmth filling his body. Jay never appreciated jealousy before, but the display Erin was putting on tonight was addicting. He constantly ached for her; it was nice being reminded that she might be doing the same.

As Jay made his way back to the bar, he immediately noticed two empty stools in front of their plates of food. Assuming Erin had made a trip to the restroom herself, Jay started to eat another wing, silently enjoying the music filling the bar. He was mid-bite when a husky laugh made his head snap to the corner of the bar. A different kind of heat filled his body as he saw Erin resting her hand on the shoulder of another man.

Erin could feel Jay's eyes on her immediately. She pulled hers away from her new friend to return the look, quickly motioning to her face indicating that he once again had some sauce on his lips. Jay angrily wiped his mouth with a napkin before making a beeline towards Erin.

"You've made your point." He gritted through his teeth, as his hand gripped Erin's waist and instinctively pulled her into him.

"I don't think I have." Erin sweetly smiled before turning back to the other man. "Mike here works construction, said he's great with his hands."

"Would love to get the chance to show you." The man responded, ignoring Jay.

"Enjoy them by yourself. Take it easy, Mark." Jay snapped before pulling Erin across the room.

"It's Mike." A voice called at their backs.

"What are you doing?" Erin questioned, pretending to be mad despite the lightness filling her body.

"We're dancing." Jay responded before turning towards Erin, firmly placing his hands on her lower back.

"Well how about that?" Erin teased as her hands rose to the back of his neck, "You're jealous."

"Please, he was a tool." Jay stared over her towards the bar, "I'm good with my hands." He mocked, shaking his head.

"I never pegged you as the jealous type." Her voice was soft despite the anger she would typically feel after such a display.

"I'm not."

"Clearly." Erin laughed as she began to sway with the music. The combination of whiskey and Jay made her feel like floating. Jay, however still stood straight, staring at the space in the distance they had just left. "Jay." Erin's hand drifted up the back of his neck, pulling his head to face her. "It's over, let's dance."

"I'm not though." His voice softened as their eyes made contact, "I mean I never was."

"It's been a long week, Jay, we are both tired and drank a lot of whiskey pretty quickly."

"This isn't the first time I felt that way." He whispered as they continued to stand in each other's arms in the middle of the bar. "About you I mean. No one else, just you."

"I know what you mean." Erin agreed, her voice dropping to a whisper, "I'm that way about you, too. Just means we give a rat's ass."

"I give more than a rat's ass. I give all the rats' asses." His crooked smile finally returned to his lips.

"Plus all of the cat's and all of the dog's." Erin added, playing with his hair as they gently began to sway to the music.

"All the asses in the world." Jay offered, leaning his forehead against hers.

"And then some." Erin agreed, exhaling deeply. "Now, I don't know about you. But it's not everyday that we find ourselves alone in a bar with no one we know."

Jay's eyebrows rose as he stood straight, hands still firmly on her small waist.

"I want to take you up on that dance." Erin further explained, loving how cute her partner looked when confused.

"This is us dancing." He replied as he drummed his fingers against her back.

"This is how you dance with your grandma." Erin teased, her head tilting to the side.

"This is how I dance." Jay reiterated, continuing the gentle sway.

"I did not drive 45 minutes to leave room for the Holy Spirit."

"So you did just want me alone." Jay confirmed, a smile filling his face.

"This isn't the place for a slow dance, pick it up Halstead." Erin smiled, dropping her hands to his waist, motioning for the muscular detective to move his hips.

"Erin." Jay groaned, dropping his head back.

"Maybe Mike wouldn't mind." Erin joked before Jay pulled her body into his.

"Too soon." Jay replied as he began to move with more speed, "Only for you."

"Seems to be the theme of the night. Don't worry, I'll make it worth it." She whispered into his ear before spinning in his arms and pushing her back against him to the music.

"With you it always is."


	9. Reason Number Eight

Reason Number Eight: Because he convinced her all right.

It had been the conclusion of their first two weeks as partners. Erin had been apprehensive at first when Hank had warned her that she would be pairing with someone other than him or Al. Apprehensive, but eager. She knew how easy it was for others to assume she had gotten where she had based upon the merits of Hank. Part of her didn't care; she knew she deserved what she got. Her skills and intuitions on the street were unparalleled compared to the other police her age, male or female.

Another part of her, however, relentlessly whispered she wasn't good enough in her ear. Another part of her would always be the undersized, underfed, unkempt kid in the back corner of the class who would grow into the teen who couldn't be left alone with money, or liquor, or pills, or men. The one who others always assumed the worst of, and could barely hide their shock when as an adult she didn't succumb to every statistic to which she should have belonged.

Halstead. Jay Halstead. That was all Hank told her at first. While a large part of her knew Hank would never partner her with a slouch, Erin couldn't fight the need to prove herself to her new running mate.

Their first day together replayed in her mind as they collapsed in their chairs behind theirs desks across from one another at the precinct.

 _Jay Halstead slowed his bike to a stop outside of the 21_ _st_ _District building. He pulled his helmet off and took a moment to take in his new workplace._

" _Nice bike." A husky voice interrupted his thoughts._

" _Thanks." Jay called out in reply, but whoever said it didn't bother to stop. He took a deep breath as he dismounted his bike and headed into the building._

" _Hi, I'm Jay Halstead. Could you point me in the direction of the Intelligence offices?" Jay questioned as he stepped to the front desk._

" _So you are Jay Halstead." A female's voice stated more than questioned from behind the desk, eyeing him up and down. "James Halstead III, sniper, Army Ranger from Gangs…"_

" _Yea, that's me." Jay interrupted the woman, not one to enjoy the listing of his achievements, "But everyone calls me Jay."_

" _Hmm. You are not what I expected."_

" _Alright?" Jay responded apprehensively, taking in the sergeant, as she made no attempts to hide her sizing up of him._

 _The woman leaned across the desk that separated them and motioned for Jay to do the same. He took a quick glance around the room before leaning in, with their faces inches apart, her voice dropped to a tone of deadly confidence. "You're getting the cream of the crop, partner wise, kid. Don't even think about any funny business and don't screw it up."_

" _Jay, you're here, good!" a familiar voice called out._

" _Tony, what's up?" Jay grabbed his friend's hand, instantly moving away from the woman._

" _I see you've met Platt", Antonio smiles._

" _Everyone is upstairs." Platt responds, "I'm keeping my eyes on you." She warns Jay as Antonio turns his shoulders towards the stairs._

" _I'll buzz you in. You can get authorized later after I introduce you to everyone." The older detective smiled, taking the steps two at a time._

" _Sorry, kid, its time for you to break one in. Don't worry he comes highly recommended from Antonio."_

" _I'm not worried. As long as he can keep up." The same husky voice Jay heard earlier responds._

" _Jay Halstead, this is Hank Voight, your new boss and Erin Lindsay, your new partner." Antonio states as they approach the duo._

" _Thank you for the opportunity, Sir." Jay's hand reaches towards Voight's before the older man strongly clasps it in his own._

" _You come highly recommended. Don't mess it up." Voight responds eyeing Halstead up and down. "I trust you'll show him around." He turns towards the female detective, voice noticeably warming as he does so._

 _Jay's eyes can't help but widen as he takes in his partner for the first time._

" _I look forward to working with you." He smiles as he offers his hand to the petite brunette._

" _Let's go get you settled in. This will be your desk, that's mine." She points to the two desks directly across from one another, ignoring his outreached hand. Jay can't help but notice how bare her desk is and is relieved he kept his pictures at home. "Leave your helmet here."_

" _So Voight seems nice." Jay attempts small talk as he follows Erin._

" _He's like that to everyone."_

" _Not you."_

" _I'm special." She deadpans._

" _I'm starting to get impression, yes."_

 _Erin gives Jay a sideways glance before motioning towards Platt. "We need to get my partner here in the system."_

" _James. Erin, I love that jacket." Platt smiles towards Erin earning a side eye from Jay that Erin merely shrugs off._

" _Smile." Platt calls to Jay, snapping a picture before he was completely ready. "Sign here, place your hand here…" Platt puts Jay through the mini orientation, while Erin leans against the desk observing her new partner in silence._

" _Let's go to the shooting range." Erin commands after Platt is done putting Jay through the ropes. "I'll drive."_

" _Ok" Jay moves to the side, allowing Erin to lead the way and follows her to the car. The ride is mostly silent, but not quite uncomfortable. Jay keeps subtly glancing at his new partner, assessing her size and age._

" _Antonio says you're from gangs." Erin states more than questions as they arrive at the range._

" _Yep, what did you do before intelligence?"_

" _Just did my time, waited for my chance."_

" _You been here long?"_

" _Six months." Erin responded quickly, not exactly sure of the small talk with her new partner. "You, in gangs?"_

" _Nine months." He confirmed with another glance._

" _And before that you…" She began, eyes never leaving the road._

" _Was on the beat a little. Before that the Army, I was a Ranger."_

" _You see action?" Erin questions, making eye contact with Jay for the first time._

" _More than I'd like." Jay responded honestly, hoping to cultivate more than short conversation with his new partner. Erin kept her eyes on Jay for a little longer before exiting the car. Jay followed close behind and moved to open the door to the gun range for his partner as they entered the building, noticing Erin flinch as he did so._

 _After signing in, Jay grabbed a pair of goggles and earmuffs for each of them. The pair moved in perfect stride to two openings next to one another._

" _Here, Erin…"_

" _Listen, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it." Erin started as she abruptly turned towards Jay, his large frame making slight but electric contact with her own. "I may be a female, but you aren't going to treat me like I'm helpless. We will have each other's backs because that's what partners do. I didn't get here by sleeping my way up. I'm good police. So no kid gloves, and holding doors, and carrying my things. We are partners. I know they don't let women in as Rangers and you are used to working with men, but you are lucky to have me."_

" _My turn?"_

" _Your turn."_

" _You've been practicing that for awhile?" Jay smirks_

" _Might have ran it over once or twice in my head on the way over here." Erin smiled in spite of herself._

" _The opening doors is habit, and is probably not going to stop. Ever. But its not because I think women are inferior or helpless, but because my Mom raised me that way. I may not have worked with women as a Ranger, but that doesn't mean that I have anything against it. In the army, my unit was my family; we got to know each other like brothers. So when I'm making small talk it is because you are my unit now, my family, whether you like it or not."_

" _You're not hitting on me?"_

" _You would know if I was hitting on you."_

" _You're full of shit." Erin laughs._

" _That might be true, too. But honestly, I'm looking forward to working with you. And to prove that I will not treat you any differently because you are a woman, I will kick your ass at this target practice."_

" _100 bucks says you won't." Erin challenges, seemingly accepting Jay's word._

" _You're on."_

"Everyone else is gone for the night, you two can leave when you are done with your paperwork." Voight's voice tore through the room as he exited his office. He snuck a warm smile to Erin. Jay was positive they managed to have a conversation without saying a word.

"See you, Hank." Erin finally responded before Hank turned to Jay.

"Not a bad couple weeks, keep it up." He nearly growled at Jay before making a beeline to the stairs and out of the intelligence offices.

"I think he likes me." Jay joked once he was sure Voight was out of earshot, "I mean more than he likes you, that's for sure."

"Shut up." Erin smiled in spite of herself and her partner's hundredth attempt for her to explain the relationship she had with their boss.

"Freedom for you, huh? I don't know how you manage the paperwork and action so well. You need to teach me your ways, partner."

Truth be told, despite Erin's lack of quality education due to her lackluster childhood, she was smart – and a good writer. The paperwork flew from her pen as quickly as the bullets flew from her trusty glock 19.

"I still have some things to do." She confidently lied, "I'll keep you company for a bit."

"Any way I can convince you to help?" A boyish grin over took his face as he motioned towards the pile of paperwork overtaking his desk.

"Ha." Erin responded before busying herself with busy work at her desk. Once she was confident Jay was engrossed in his work she began to steal glances towards her partner.

She didn't know what to make of him at first, red filled Erin's cheeks as memories of misinterpreting his kindness for ulterior motives filled her mind. Jay was solid, that's for sure. Antonio wasn't wrong. They had only been partners for two weeks, yet they already moved as one. He was good police and an even better partner. But Erin would be lying to herself if she didn't admit that was not the only thing she noticed about Jay.

Jay was handsome in a way Erin wasn't used to appreciating: strong but not overpowering, masculine but boyish, professional but silly, experienced but pure. Somehow Erin was sure that he saw all of her every time he looked at her – even the parts she kept locked away. Yet, there was no sense of judgment leveled at Erin from Jay, not even about her relationship with her boss that to an outsider could no doubt be viewed as scandalous. Erin felt fully seen and fully embraced by Jay at the same exact time – something she had long resigned to being reserved for mentors – not peers.

Jay was kind. Erin saw it when he would help elderly women with their bags, and make small talk with the kids who filled the neighborhood. He treated everyone with respect, and demanded it in return. He looked for the counsel of Al and Antonio, but trusted his own instincts.

He was kind and strong and handsome and accomplished. It was almost like he was too good to be true.

"Are you sure I can't convince you to do a couple of these?" His voice pulled her from her thoughts, "I see you looking over here, totally jealous of all this fun I'm having."

Scratch that. He was kind and strong and handsome and accomplished and annoying. Oh so very annoying.

"I did my work, Jay."

"Yours, mine, and ours. Isn't that the saying?" He flashed a confident smile. "Can a guy at least get some coffee?" He asked, pulling an empty mug out from behind a stack of papers.

"I'm not your work wife." Erin responded while rising from her desk to grab his mug.

"Thank you." Jay earnestly responded as she disappeared.

Thoughts of her new partner continued to fill Erin's mind as she busied herself in the break room, preparing two coffees.

"You don't have to do that." Jay appeared in the small room moments later, "I'm sorry I know the work wife thing is a touchy subject."

"You can ask me to make you a coffee, Jay, we're partners. That's not weird." She responded passing his mug to him, ignoring the sparks when their hands touched.

"Sugar?"

"Already in there, with a cream."

"You remembered." He smiled before taking a sip, "delicious. Thank you."

"Hard to forget someone pouring half the container into their mug." She teased as they made their way out of the room.

"Always had a sweet tooth since I was a kid. I used to get those giant pixie sticks after baseball. You know the ones that are like the size of a five year old? I used to get one of those after every practice and chase it down with a giant slurpee. Mom had to tell the people at the snack stand to stop selling to me." He laughed at the memory before returning to his seat. "How about you? Any vices for mini Erin?"

The question was innocent, but the answer was not. "Let's see what you have here." She changed the subject effortlessly while making her way to his side, "you need to start using short hand, this is taking too long."

"You'll help?" His hopeful smile nearly made her heart jump.

"Just this once, I don't want to get stuck on desk duty because my partner is writing a novel about the man with the weird porn." Erin teased while picking up the pile, "This was a week and a half ago, how do you remember all of this?"

"Take my chair." He slides his over to for her before grabbing an empty one for himself, "I remember everything, I'm good with details." Jay explained before sitting in the new seat.

Two weeks and the chair already smelled like him, Erin thought as she lowered herself into it. "Everything?"

"You run before work every other day and only write in blue ink which is so annoying by the way." He commented before passing her a blue pen from his desk, "You don't like mayonnaise, or when I put on the classic rock station in the car. You like Dunkin Donuts coffee more than Starbucks, but treat yourself to a latte from Starbucks every Friday."

"Anything else, Creepy?" Erin questioned, turning towards her partner as they sat together behind his desk.

"You call me Jay when it's just us, but Halstead when the others are here. You don't smile during hard cases, especially during ones involving children. You rock in your chair when you are bored. And you would rather drink my soda at lunch than order your own."

"I don't drink your soda."

"Yes you do, every day."

"Hm." Erin thought for a moment before conceding, "Sorry."

"Don't be. I just started to order a size bigger than usual." He smiled in return. "So teach me your tricks so we can get the hell out of here."

And she did, knowing full well a slow partner would make for a slow team. And there was nothing Erin hated more than being stuck inside this office when she should be out doing good. Jay picked up quickly, and in under an hour they worked through the pile together.

"I owe you." Jay exhaled as he leaned back after signing the last file. "Thanks, Erin."

"Consider it a repayment for all the soda." She teased leaning back into his chair.

"Yea, sorry if that freaked you out. I can't help it."

"No, that will come in handy for sure." Erin yawned. "Ready to head out?"

"Give me a minute."

Erin watched as he moved around the room, returning the chair he had borrowed and washing out their mugs in the break room sink.

It took all night but she figured him out. Jay was the walking embodiment of the promise of hope and peace. Things Erin Lindsay knew since her kindergarten teacher would read fairy tales while perched atop her white rocking chair were not meant for girls like her. But somehow Jay didn't know. He already knew how she liked her coffee and all of her quirks, but he didn't know she would never get what he had. It wasn't meant for girls like her. But somehow, she could shake the feeling that Jay was. Meant for her that is.

"That wasn't too bad." He effortlessly commented as he placed the last of the files in the cabinet. "Here's your jacket."

"Thank you."

"I'm happy I was able to convince you." He smiled while turning off the lights.

"Me too." Erin agreed before her mind could convince her to do otherwise.

"We've had a great start these past couple weeks. I think we've got something here, partner." Jay commented while holding open the door of the precinct.

"You might be right." She smiled before walking to her car.


	10. Reason Number Nine

Reason Number Nine: Because she wanted one.

The two were sitting across from one another at Lou Mitchell's diner in downtown Chicago. They had just finished meeting up with a CI before they decided to break for lunch. The short time away from the team and responsibilities had quickly become both detectives' favorite part of the day, not that either was in a rush to admit it to the other.

"You know, it's amazing I haven't wasted away to nothing." Jay stated as Erin reached across the table, grabbing a couple of fries from his plate before popping them into her mouth.

"What are you talking about?" Erin questioned before taking a sip from his soda.

"I swear every time we go to lunch you eat more of my food than I do." Jay teased as he reached to grab her burger, only to have his hand slapped away.

"I don't want your cooties." Erin smiled as she took a bite from her burger.

"My cooties have never bothered you before." He challenged, taking the burger from her hands and stealing a bite.

"That's what you think." She deadpanned before taking another sip from his soda, "You should be thanking me anyway. I'm keeping that stomach of yours tight. All this extra food can't be good for the abs."

"It's good to know you're thinking of my abs." The smiled filled his face, eyes shining with amusement.

"That's not what I meant."

"Sure it is. Hey, if you ever want to check to make sure they are still there, the invitation is always open." He leaned into the table, locking eyes with his partner. "I think a full body search would completely appropriate. As partners, we should make sure everything is good and tight. Ya know, safety first."

"Are you done?" She questioned as she leaned into the table.

"No." He laughed.

Suddenly Jay's phone vibrating on the table caused both detectives to jump, thrusting them back into reality. Abigail's name popped onto the screen, along with a picture of the two from years ago. A young Jay was clad in his high school baseball uniform holding his little sister close. Abigail wore a matching shirt and was missing her front teeth while hugging him tightly. Halstead grins graced both of their faces.

"Hey, Abs." Erin spoke into the phone, swiping the device before Jay could get his hands on it.

"I think she was probably calling to speak to me." Jay stated, leaning back into his chair.

"Do you want to talk to Jay?" Erin questioned into the phone before pausing, "No, that's what I thought. What's up?" A warm smile reserved for the youngest Halstead spread across Erin's face before she stuck her tongue out at Jay.

"Don't mind me. Just stuck eating here. By myself." Jay moaned after what felt like ten minutes of being ignored by his two girls.

"Alright, Abs, I've got to go. You're brother is crying that we aren't paying enough attention to him. I'd love to do drinks soon, gossip about boys." Her eyes sparkled as they made contact with Jay's. "Talk to you soon."

"Didn't she want to talk to me?" Jay questioned as Erin put down his phone.

"Not when talking to me is an option." She replied, turning her focus to his phone.

"Then why didn't she just call you?" Jay continued, acting offended. Both knew it was an act, watching the bond between his partner and baby sister had quickly become one of Jay's favorite past times.

"That was a cute picture that popped up." Erin ignored his whining and began clicking around his phone. "Do you have one for everyone?"

"What? A picture?" Jay questioned as he watched Erin drag her fingers across his screen, enlarging the picture of him and his little sister.

"Yea. What were you 17?" Erin asked, still not removing her eyes from the screen.

"Umm." Jay began before lightly gripping Erin's arm to turn the screen towards him, "16 actually, Abigail was 7. That was right before Mom got sick, we won districts that day."

"You two have the same smile." Erin commented, the grin never leaving her face.

"Hard to tell there" Jay laughed, "She's missing half of her teeth."

"It's adorable. The picture, I mean. You both still do that, you know? Light up around each other. I love it." Erin revealed before looking up and meeting Jay's eyes, a slight hue instantly covering her cheeks. "So you said you have a picture for everyone?"

"Not everyone."

"Just the special people?" Erin questioned, her head instantly cocking to the side as her eyebrow rose.

"Yea, I mean I don't know." Jay stumbled watching as Erin began to click through his phone, "What are you doing?"

"I want to see what you have for me." Erin explained as she began to search through his contacts.

Jay instantly reached across the table, making a move for his phone.

"Hiding something?" Erin questioned, pulling his phone into her chest.

"No. I just, I just deserve some privacy, don't I?" He questioned as he opened his palm towards Erin, wordlessly motioning for her to return his phone.

"No." She deadpanned before leaning back against her chair to continue her search. Jay jumped across the table to retrieve his phone before she could find what she was looking for. "God, Jay, you're making me kind of nervous. Did you take pictures of me naked or something?" Erin teased as Jay returned to his seat.

"Erin." Jay replied, a serious tone challenging Erin's playful one.

"Easy, Jay, I'd understand." She continued on her mission despite her partner's discomfort, "It can be easy going so long without."

"We never took a picture together when we were together." Jay stated, ignoring Erin's jabs.

"Oh, so you don't have one for me?" Erin questioned, an uncontrollable sadness tingeing her voice.

"No, I do. I just don't want you to get freaked out."

"You didn't Photoshop us together or something did you?" Erin teased as they both put down money for their meal and exited the diner together.

"Are you done?" Jay questioned as they began to walk through the park towards their car. "Abigail is the one who put the pictures with people's contacts. She was bored one day and started going through my phone, turns out I've taken pictures with like everyone on the team but you.

"So you don't have a picture?" Erin asked again.

"I didn't say that. Do you remember the softball game against the fire department?" Jay continued as they walked through the park on the warm fall day.

"Yea." Erin answered, her eyes locked on the phone he played with in his hands.

"And the whole jersey mix up, how we had to wear each other's last names?" Jay questioned, dropping his phone to his side.

"I still think you did that on purpose." Erin laughed, bumping into him slightly.

"Well, I was so proud of how well you were playing after all of our practice so I took a picture of you at bat. Abby found it and put it as your picture." Jay explained finally allowing Erin to grab his phone. "Let me at least unlock it for you."

"As though I don't know your passcode." Erin responded, eyes locked in on the phone until her picture popped up. She was walking toward home plate with a bat in her hands. Her head was slightly turned back to the camera, obviously laughing at what someone had said, HALSTEAD printed on her shirt, spread between her shoulder blades.

"Abby, found it." He explained again, reaching up to scratch the back of his head, "Said she liked seeing another female Halstead, can't say I disagreed."

Erin didn't reply as she looked at the phone, enlarging the name HALSTEAD across her back.

"Sorry if you think its weird. I could get rid of it." He stammered, reaching for the phone.

"No. Don't." Erin replied at last, turning away from him, "I like it." She whispered, staring at the picture a little longer before returning the phone.

"Well, I've showed you mine, now show me yours." Jay teased, obviously relieved at her reaction.

"Nothing to show." Erin replied while sticking her hands into her pockets, I don't have any pictures of anyone.

"Well, I'd say it's about time we changed that." Jay stated full of a renewed confidence.

"What do you mean?" Erin questioned, stopping in her place, "We are not taking a selfie like some 12 year olds."

"Come on, Er. We've been **us** for over two years now. It's about damn time we have a picture together. You know you want to see this gorgeous face every time your phone lights up."

"Not with that facial hair" She teased, her right hand reaching up to graze his cheek her thumb rubbing over his thin mustache.

"You don't like it?" He responded, gently leaning into her warm palm.

"It's not the worst." She answered, not rushing to remove her hand from his cheek.

"That seems to be the popular reaction. I'll shave tomorrow." He exhaled, admitting defeat.

"That would be wise." Erin laughed a light breeze making her slightly shiver.

"Alright picture, come here." Jay smiled, pulling Erin into his side his warmth warming the two of them.

"Jay…"

"We can always take a replacement one tomorrow, without the stache if you hate it that much." Jay ignored her protests, using his free hand to pull up the camera on his phone.

"I don't hate it" Erin explained, "I just prefer the scruff."

"Dually noted. Now smile." He commanded before capturing the photo, "Let's see how we did." His arm remained around her as they inspected the photo, "Not bad."

"Send it to me?" She requested as they began to walk towards their car.

"I don't know." Jay teased as they reached the car, "You don't like selfies and you said I looked ugly."

"I never said you were ugly, I said I wasn't crazy about your facial hair situation." Erin defended herself as she walked around to the driver's side of the car.

"I don't know." Jay continued, "my feelings are hurt, first you say I have cooties, then you ignore me for my sister and you just finished making fun of my face."

"Quit being such a baby." Erin grinned as she dropped into the car.

"Now you call me a baby." Jay pretended to be hurt as he joined her in the car, "Maybe I'll keep this bad boy for myself."

"For such a tough guy you sure can be sensitive." Erin commented before grabbing his phone and twisting away from him in the car. "Ha!"

Her feet pushed against his chest to keep him at bay as she sent herself the photo, "When will you get used to the fact that I always end up on top." Erin teased as she tossed him back his phone.

"Now that, I know for a fact is not true." A flirtatious smile filled his face as he caught his phone.

"There, all set." Erin ignored her partner while she tapped her screen. "I've been wanting a picture of us." She reveals as she puts the car into drive.

"Me too." Jay agreed, looking at the picture on his phone, "Although, you could wrestle me for a new one tomorrow after I shave."

"I already got what I want." Erin laughed as she stopped at a stop sign.

"Even though I have the stache?" Jay questioned looking up from the phone.

"Even if you had a man bun."

"That's legit." Jay laughed

"Damn straight." Erin agreed.

[AN: Not too crazy about the ending. Please review, and as always, be kind to one another.]


End file.
